Question
Hello. We have a just-turned 8 year old son who gets easily distracted. We have met with his teachers to rule out ADHD. My simple question is this: is 8 years old too young to hold them to a responsibility to do their homework by themselves? I have let the work sit out on the table and if it's after 4:30 and it's not completed, then I put it back in the backpack and allow the natural consequences to take place. My child knows the expectations. What's the best way to promote independence and harness attention and focus? Thank you.
Answer
Age 8 is absolutely NOT too young to hold a child responsible for doing their homework independently. A career educator at the elementary level (classroom teacher, curriculum facilitator, assistant principal, principal), I informed parents of my first graders that their children were to do their own homework. Having said that, teachers should not give children homework assignments that include material about which they have not been instructed. Homework at the elementary level, the lower grades especially, should be for review, reinforcement, and as a means of building responsibility. Rather than parents being the constant monitor (often the big 'meanie'), setting the microwave timer can help children improve in the areas of time management, focus, and self-regulation.
Also, with regard to homework, I shared with parents that they were welcome to answer one to two questions; questions that involved clarification (of directions, procedures...). If, however, their child's question(s) could not be addressed effectively within 5 minutes, they were to stop the discussion and send the homework back 'as is'. If clarification could not be established in 5 minutes, then the parent was likely not the best one to address the issue. To continue to do so could result in frustration for both the child and parent.
It sounds like you are on the right track. The expectation should be that your son attempts to do all homework components by himself. If there are certain aspects of the homework he cannot do (doesn't understand how to do), then returning it to school 'as is' lets the teacher know where the gaps are, and that further assistance is needed. Best to let the teacher do the teaching.
Lastly, inform the teacher of your concerns, including what you are observing at home in terms of academic skill issues, length of time the homework sessions are lasting, and attitude. Communication is important. Parents and teachers effectively working together is key to optimal student success.
Sincerely,
Sharon Lamberth
Certified Leadership Parent Coach
sklamberth17@gmail.com
parentwithconfidence.org
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