Question
To start, please forgive me—I’m still a recovering “parenting-babble” believer. Which leads me to this question: we adopted two elementary-aged children out of foster care. The big bad wolf that everybody keeps bringing up is the “trauma”—especially the trauma that “we’ll just never know about.”
Case in point: Kid throws a tantrum, that’s “trauma, not attached”. Kid wants a hug, that’s “trauma, didn’t get enough attention”. Kid misses a problem in math, that’s “trauma, not enough stimuli in the first three years.” Kid says please and thank you, that’s “trauma, a people-pleaser, trying to feel accepted.”
So then I look at these kids, wondering how much of their personality and their behaviors are them, and how much is the “trauma.” Would you mind commenting on “trauma” and its effects on childhood behaviors?
