Question

Our son 10 yrs. began pulling his hair out 6 months ago. Simultaneously began w/ sadness/crying spells. Later became aggression/violence. Bloodwork revealed several nutrition deficiencies. After correcting them, sadness went away & the violence improved greatly. However, he is defiant, disobedient, disrespectful as ever. We have older kids, they were undisciplined & thank God they’re functioning adults. (We r new believers.) We read “Parenting by the book.” Implenetation is being met w/ resistance. Recent punishment given was to sit w/ us in church & miss kids church which he loves. He yelled, rebelled, kicked. “just kill me then!!” He yelled. My husband took him out & spanked him. He kept up the behavior. A church member intervened. We need help! Today is “no” to all commands. Even after apologizing yesterday. Removed his door for slamming it, banished him to the bathroom (he destroyed room.) He laughs in my face, tells me to shut up, spanking isn’t working. What else can we do?