Question
Our 8 year old granddaughter is the oldest of 4 siblings. She is bright, articulate, loves to read, enjoys learning and school, is full of energy, and is generally a joy to be around when we are with her and the family. Her parents, our son and his wife, have recently informed us that 1-2 times every three months or so, she has had major meltdowns when it appears that she doesn't get what she wants, seemingly something very minor or trivial. When this happened a couple years ago, we were all clueless as to what prompted this barrage of irrational behavior. When our son quietly and gently went to her and attempted to defuse her explosion of yelling and screaming herself into a frenzy. These highly emotional tantrums have recently resulted in her throwing things, and kicking holes in walls and doors. Our grandaughter appears to be totally out of control and goes into a rampage that can last for several minutes. Then it's over, and she seems unaware that it even happened. Our son and his wife are concerned that there maybe some kind of neurological problems that require treatment. Her "episodes" seem much more than the usual temper tantrums that are common in some children. I have long been a proponent of the Love and Logic approach to learning and parenting and highly respect your advice and suggestions. I have heard you speak, and continually read your columns. Having been a teacher for forty years, I highly respect your professional opinion. My son and his wife have contacted their local help agencies with little feedback. They are frustrated and desire answers to this intermittent problem that they and the family are experiencing with their eight year-old. Please help!
